I wanted to make something for you

Something that would requre effort and time and exquisite vulnerablity.

I want to be the best man I can be for you. Everything you ever wanted in a husband, friend and lover. I want to deserve you. 

I want you to see that I am going to fight for you. I am going to fight to become the best person I can be for you. 

I want you to have legitimate trust in me, and feel legitimate passion, and to feel legitimately desired and craved and loved and adored, and to feel like your opinions and thoughts and ideas are important. I want you to look at me and have absolute certainty that I belong to you. 

I don't want you to ever feel insecure about me.

I have some things I need to work on: many daemons that need to be tamed. 

I am talking about the problematic behaviors that could lead my heart astray from you.

The hope is by acknowledging my problematic behavior, and deconstructing them (through this blog) it will give me and you a better incite into these behaviors, into myself and I can identify strategies and practices to build self mastery of these behaviors. 

I want to show you my progression as I blog about these behaviors and in an honest way. I want to list of in as much detail as I can think of I want to be completely transparent as possible. I will try my best to be honest with the way i put down my thoughts and histories of these behavorirs. the goal of this is to overome  

I will have a section where I talk about all the mist opportunities that I missed to be the man of your dreams... 

I want to start with my understanding of what has changed inside my head and why this time would be different.